The Valentine's Date Massacre

I don't really have a fondness for Valentine's Day. Its not that I have a problem with the celebration of love in all its forms. Its just that why single out just one of its forms? The focus of the day should be on telling people OTHER than yours significant other that you love them. Don't you think? As a day for one-on-one love it never really worked out well for me. Remember how in elementary school when you were required to make valentines for the whole class? The teachers had the right idea: Valentine's Day is just better when attentions are focused on the many and not just on the one. Focusing on the one has been my downfall with the day, ever since the 3rd grade some smart-ass classmate of mine noticed that I had given my biggest valentine to one of the boys, not one of the girls He made merciless fun of me. (Apparently I had yet to develop the skill-set necessary to keep my secret out of view! I'm not sure I even knew what my secret was anyway.) The day has had a tendency to be unkind to me ever since! My friends, who know all my stories suggest I should write a book. Perhaps.

Contrary to what you might think, the worst Valentine's Days aren't when you are single but rather when you are 'not quite coupled'. In this state you are forced to submit to the pressures of the day and go through the motions even though you (and your date) aren't quite ready for prime time. What should be a regular date takes on new dimensions. Its on these types of Valentine's Days where I have had the most "colorful" experiences. On one particular such date (which my friends now refer to as "The Valentine's Date Massacre") my date, someone I had been seeing for a few weeks and who seemed nice enough, showed up with flowers (nice) and took me to a fancy restaurant close to my home (very nice!) Somewhere between salad and dinner he started to confide in me that he frequently violated the restraining order his former lover had on him by repeatedly calling him on the phone 50 times a day, stealing his mail, and putting nails in his car tires. By the time desert arrived (why did I order that souffle?) he was in tears and I was making plans to walk home in the slight hope that he would not remember where I lived. And that was one of my better dates.

The picture posted above is from what is I'm sure my favorite Valentine's Day. Isn't he cute? (I kept him.) I was so happy to be in love. Real love. No going through the motions for the sake of the day here. I spent days planning the perfect 6 course meal and pulled out all the stops. If you could see the appetizers on that platter you would see that they were heart shaped crostini piped with pink salmon cream. In fact, several of the dishes that night were heart shaped! I decorated the room with a flock of 50 red birds whirling about in an homage to an inside joke that we share. (You can see only a few of them in the photo.) I was in heaven: in love and cooking a special dinner for someone I truly loved. I was so excited, in fact, that I lost track of how many pink cocktails I had been drinking and passed out --waking up a few hours later only to vomit and crawl in bed! Wasn't THAT a special evening? Good times.

Despite that awkward display of love (thankfully he did not take out a restraining order after that) we are still together. I'm not going to tell you what we are doing this Valentine's but suffice it to say it is a much lower key affair these days. Just the way I like it. Also, we try to do stuff for our friends and family and our friends who are our "family" --the people we love dearly but don't get to tell we love as often as we should.

I guess we prefer to share our messages of love with the many and not just the one -- just as our teachers thought was best.